I filled out a nearly complete profile, except for a few fields that I didn't even know about. It's a bit confusing actually. You get 3 profiles - dating, relationships, and the dreaded 'intimate encounters'. Each one can have a different user name, different pic, etc. They're allowing you to pose as 3 totally separate people. How many people on here have 1 profile professing their love of good conversation and long walks on the beach, and another profile describing their genitalia and sex skills? Um, every guy and 10% of the women? How many 'real' women actually fill out an intimate encounter profile? Let's find out. I created all 3 profiles.
Within literally 10 minutes of hitting the submit button, I have 5 emails. Wow! These women are eager! Let's have a look:
LAPULIA smile Tue 04/15/2008
MARY DREAM28 HELLO!!! Tue 04/15/2008
HAPPINESSNAINA hi Tue 04/15/2008
TEMP_AD_132683 Halloa! Mon 04/14/2008
ESNHLISHA Shalom! Mon 04/14/2008
ESNHLISHA Word!
Impressive. Is Halloa even a word? Every message is essentially the same. Either spam or very bad english. Why is lavalife so spam ridden? What percentage of their female users are legit?
User ESNHLISHA was the first, so let's give her a shot. Her first message:
Hello! How are u? I would like to chat with you. Message me at moonjqd@gmail.com
. You won't regret it. I will not reply through website. Use my personal email only
Her second message:
Hey! Wazzup? I would like to chat with you. Drop me a line at sunlox83@gmail.com
to see my pictures and more info about me. I will not reply through website. Use my personal email only
So we're off to a great start. Then we have the one's who either dropped out of ESL class or were hit on the head at a very young age:
I REALLY WANTTO GET TO MEETTHE RIGHT MAN OF MY LIFE TO TAKE GOD CARE OF ME AND TO BE WITH ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE TIME.
THANKS
I don't care if English is your 2nd or 3rd language. You still know about spaces, and word borders, and logic, right? And ALL CAPS. So I decided to write my first message:
Before:
I REALLY WANTTO GET TO MEETTHE RIGHT MAN OF MY LIFE TO TAKE GOD CARE OF ME AND TO BE WITH ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE TIME.
THANKS
After
I REALLY WANT TO GET TO MEET THE RIGHT MAN, THE MAN OF MY LIFE, TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME, AND TO BE WITH ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
THANKS
I just figured you might want to take 30 seconds to do a spell-check and write proper English before you advertise yourself to the entire English-speaking world. Also, ALL-CAPITALS is considered rude to most people. Good luck.
Her response:
How do you mean?
4 comments:
ha! this is so hilarious because it really is like that!!!
that 56$ would have been better invested in weed!
oh yea did i mention i made my own clone of lavalife.. checkit out at http://2meet4free.com/
only difference, mine is free and has webcam chat and spam protection...
oh well now that i do think about it im pretty sure that i had not mentioned it, or at least not here since this is Your Blog!!! so sorry for the shameless plug.
by the way this is from 2008? too bad youre not writing more about youre experiences with dating websites cos i loved to read what you wrote here it was pretty funny to read :D
Lava can be rewarding. I actually met my wife on it 6 years ago, but i'm sure it's a lot worse these days for spam, as everywhere is.
found a free trial at
http://www.pocketbookcoupon.com/Coupons.aspx?CompanyId=2031500&Company=Lavalife&Category=matchmaking
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